life is beautiful

Don’t play play ah, this ang moh can speak Singlish fluently ah!

1. You have less than RM5 in your wallet.
2. You think you have a job.
3. Your idea of biker wear is jeans, t-shirt and Japanese slippers.
4. You think you are superman.
5. You think helmets are used during rain to cover your head from getting wet.
6. You have tons of biker friends that speak a language that only you understand.
7. You think your bike is the most powerful bike in the world.
8. Your soon to be girlfriend would have at least slept with 7 of your friends.
9. Your current girlfriend is sleeping with 4 of your friends.
10. You bet your girlfriend during races cause you only have RM1 for the tarik later.
11. You can maintain a cup of teh tarik for a minimum of 4 hrs before you order another.
12. You only need RM10 for the weekend (RM5 for petrol and RM5 for breakfast, lunch and dinner).
13. You don’t know how to interpret traffic signs.
14. You can’t understand the traffic light colours and the meaning.
15. You don’t know how to use your turn signal indicator.
16. You think you are smart.
17. You loiter with your friends outside some clubs (cant go in, no money).
18. You shop at the bundle store.
19. You love to loiter around any kinda entrance.
20. You sit in the mencangkung position while loitering.
21. Your gf’s panties stick out while they are riding pillion.
22. You share a pack of cigarette and a can of Coke with 35 of your friends.
23. Your gf would leave you for a 4 wheeler anytime.
24. You are ugly and dumb.
25. You have a ekor hairstyle.
26. You only know how to ride a bike (can’t afford the car).
27. You wear a cheap metal bracelet.
28. You go to gigs and later have an orgy with your friends.
29. Your orgy involves 30 rempits and your gf (in some abandoned building).
30. You run when you see Edisi Siasat crew.
31. Your gf aborts her baby in the toilet once in awhile.
32. Your bike is much more expensive than your house.
33. You live in a 3 room terrace house with 15 other guys.
34. You like to sit in the RM1 per song karaoke booths and sing.
35. You rather spend money on your bike than to buy your gf a bra from the pasar malam.
36. You are pissed that the rokok batangs are nowhere to be found anymore.
37. You can’t afford to smoke Dunhill.
38. You are pissed with this article.

A Bihari hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.

He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.

While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grand father’s words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed.

Now, very convinced of his grandfather’s idea, Laloo threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said……

“Dude, you think only you have a grandfather?”