life is beautiful

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example! of some thing you forgot?

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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

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ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty.

Continue reading ‘Actual Court Recordings’

My company office is located in a industrial park at the east side of Singapore.

A new colleague Raymond - a Philippino who is new to Singapore, asked Darren a question that we thought was quite funny.

Venue: Office
Time: 7.30PM
Weather: Rainy

Raymond: “Darren, is it safe to walk to bus stop alone at this hour?”

It takes about 10 minutes walk to bus stop from office.

Darren: “Don’t worry, it’s safe to walk alone at this hour, this is Sparta not Malaysia.”

Looks like The Philippines and Malaysia pretty much the same, people feel insecure when walking alone. In Singapore, such feeling is unnecessary.

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